UNDER MY ARMOUR

I have spent a lot of time being uncomfortable in my own skin. From an early age we develop survival skills to live in this

world. These coping mechanism function as layers of armor. In a way it’s more extreme as an artist because we bear our

hearts and souls for the world to see, and naturally judge. To be confident and secure in myself is to do that in my practice.

I am my art- we are one.

I am on a path to be comfortable in my own skin even though I wear many coats of armor to protect, and often hide, what’s

within. My ego, humor, anger, and clothing are all layers of this armor that I wear on a daily basis. What happens if I am

stripped bare of all these armaments for the world to see who I truly am? Do I even know who lies beneath all these layers?

Deep down within we are all the same: God’s creations, perfect and whole just as we were created to be. It is inherently

human to desire to love, acceptance, approval, and ultimately an anointment. As humans we look to people, places, and

things to find this validation. If no external affirmation or criticism can add to or take away from my wholeness, why do I

seek institutional and human validation, especially through my work?

There is insecurity, suspicion, vulnerability, sadness, and pain hiding under the cowboy hat and behind the grills. All of us

have an armor we wear. My art making is an attempt to communicate with the world what is underneath mine. I invoke

Under Armour to symbolize this person who I really feel like inside. Not cool, not fashionable, just normal. But I am not

normal, I’m not average, and I’m not mediocre. To live in this duality is the nature of life.

I have not shaved or cut my hair in four months and will continue on this physical representation of this spiritual path I am

on to be in acceptance of self, no matter what the outside realities may seem, and to focus on my inner reality of oneness

and wholeness with God, whatever that may be.

Under my armour I am scared, I am vulnerable, I am insecure, and I am in pain.

Under my armour I am whole, I am loved, I am enough, and I will be taken care of.

- Preston Douglas